A Letter to My Master
by Jedikma
Summary: ObiSiri AP Anakin writes a letter to his Master explaining why he defied the code and married Padme by appealing to Obi-Wan's feelings for a certain blonde Jedi


Title: A Letter to My Master  
  
Author: Jedikma  
  
Rated: PG  
  
Summary: Anakin writes a letter to Obi-Wan attempting to explain why he defied the Jedi code and married Padme by appealing to Obi-Wan's feelings for a certain blonde Jedi.  
  
Disclaimer: Do I really need to state it? I own nothing but this cheesy idea of a story.  
  
A/N: Since Anakin supposedly has such a strong connection to the living Force, I can never shake the idea that he senses that Obi-Wan and Siri have feelings for each other even long before the two of them realize it themselves. Blame this story on Valentine's Day. Please review, even if you don't like it, after all, I'm not sure I do.  
  
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"A Letter to My Master"  
  
Obi-Wan, My Master,  
  
We have now been together more than 10 years and we have shared much. You have been my Master but you have also been my father, my brother, and my friend. We have weathered many changes together and endured. From the beginning, when I had no one else, you embraced me and took me in. You taught me the ways of the Force and you dedicated your life to my apprenticeship and though you may not think so, I am grateful. I am grateful for the bond I share with you, as well.  
  
It is that bond that compels me to write to you now and try to explain to you what I have done and why I have done it. I don't know how you will listen to my confession. As a father, who wishes the best for his son, as a brother who will cover for his sibling, as a friend who will understand and sympathize, or as a fellow Jedi who will admonish me for breaking the code? Whatever cloak you wear, I only hope you will listen with an open heart and try to understand.  
  
I married her, Master. I married the Senator, Padme Amidala.  
  
I know all the reasons why I shouldn't have married her. I understand that I have broken the Jedi code and made an attachment, but before you quickly point out these things, I ask that you remember how you felt the day you realized that you loved someone deeply. It was a moment in time that you were happier than you had ever been before, but also sadder, too. The day you looked into Master Siri Tachi's crystal blue eyes and realized she was your very heart and soul, but because you were a Jedi you could never have a complete relationship with her.  
  
I knew you loved her long before that, Master. From the first time I saw the two of you together, I sensed an attraction between you, though you denied it when I asked you if she was your girl friend. You went on to make sure I knew the Jedi codes concerning such relationships, but I could sense then that you were only reminding yourself of those codes to hold back what was really in your heart.  
  
I watched the two of you together many times. You would banter and bicker but with so much affection and respect underneath it all and the affection and respect only grew. You began to treasure the times you were able to go on missions together and as time progressed you worked together just as well as any Master/padawan team. Had I not liked Master Siri so much myself, I might have found myself envious, but I could not bring myself to come between what brought you so much joy, Master.  
  
I knew when the day came and you realized the truth of how you felt about her it would be heartbreaking for you. I knew you would never turn your back on your Jedi teaching and attach yourself to her. I knew you would never go back on your promise to your own Master and abandon my training. I also knew you would never ask her to go back on her Jedi teaching to attach herself to you.  
  
For years the two of you were able to avoid the truth of how you felt about each other, but the day finally came when you could deny it no longer. Still, it did not change your Jedi commitments. I know you both stay true to the Jedi. I know that your greatest transgressions are merely a hidden touch here or a stolen kiss there. You accept that you can only have so much of each other and you are content with that.  
  
You try to be discrete and hide the way you feel about each other from everyone else and you succeed well, but I could always sense things others could not. Not just because you are my Master and I have a bond with you, but also because my connections to the living Force are so strong. I have been cursed with feeling too much. It is the little moments that I catch. The way your breath hitches when she came close to you or the way her pulse jumps when she sees you. The way the two of you reach out to each other through the Force when you think no one is paying attention. In many ways you and Master Siri are closer than any bonded couple I have ever met. Your devotion and loyalty to each other is reflected in your eyes.  
  
It is that look of devotion that captured me when I looked into Padme's eyes. She looked at me the very way Master Siri looks at you and I was not strong enough to say 'no'. I love her deeply, Master, the same way you love Master Siri. If I could have had a relationship with Padme the way you do with Master Siri, I would have, but I couldn't. Since Padme is not Force sensitive, I don't have the luxury of the Force to create an intimacy with her, so the only way we have to share our love is through physical expression. I could never ask Padme to love me in that way with out a formal commitment and so we bonded. We didn't make such a decision lightly, we discussed it in depth and we know that we face certain ramifications for what we have done.  
  
I know what the Council's stand is on attachment but the love I feel for Padme is so strong that I have to wonder if the Force has it's own ideas in this matter. Perhaps it is the will of the Force that draws me to her. From the moment I met her, when I was still a boy, I knew I would marry her. You always told me to listen to the will of the Force and I believe, in this case, that will goes against what the Council has ruled. I truly believe it is the will of the Force that convinced me to make Padme my wife.  
  
I hope, Master, that you can understand what I have done and it will not change the commitment you have towards me. My decision is not meant to be a reflection of your training or a betrayal to all you have done for me. I don't wish for my actions to cause a rift between us or to put you on the spot with the council, but I know that may be too much to ask. Hopefully, one day, all that I have done will become clear and will be understood in the scheme of things.  
  
I am sorry for any pain this may cause you, Master.  
  
Your Padawan,  
  
Anakin 


End file.
